Decision-making Part 3: Freeing yourself of the guilt of bad decisions

In the previous two blogs on decision-making I shared what is going on when we make a decision, and an exercise to trick the mind and bypass your conditioning.

In the final part of the series, I want to explore decision-making from the angle of what happens after you make a decision. I hope this will serve you so that you gain the courage to go ahead and make that choice!

3 things to have in mind after you make a decision so that you can let go of the guilt and move forward 

1 - There is no such thing as a bad decision 

Our past conditioning might lead us to believe that there is a right or wrong answer, a good or bad decision, but from a higher wisdom perspective no such thing exists. 

In my own life, I have become aware that my past conditioning means my worst fear is getting things “wrong”. It can become paralyzing because it means living in fear of making the wrong decision so not wanting to make one, then even if I do, I wrestle with it afterwards worrying about it. It can be exhausting! 

However, once I could identify that it is simply my conditioning that is setting things up in this way, I could step into the place of the observer. I could face the discomfort and lean into my life and my decisions. I looked the fear in the eye and said: do your worst! 

When you do this, you see that it is not so bad. Then it loses its power over you. 

To take this further: think about a “bad choice” you made that turned out to be great. This also tells you that there are no bad decisions. You make a decision and you don’t know what will happen. Sometimes it is making the “wrong” decision that tells you what is the right way forward. The ego mind never really knows what is going to happen, it will just use everything in its toolbox to keep you safe and keep you connected to that fear of making the wrong decision. 

Our higher self knows that the decision is not a reflection of your success or not. Our higher mind can say it doesn’t matter what I choose because I will make it work. 

Really there is NO WRONG DECISION. 

2 - It is simply our unconscious making our decisions for us based on our past conditioning.  

Our unconscious mind makes our decisions for us based on our past conditioning. When we know this we can absolve ourselves of the guilt of making a bad decision - it wasn’t us anyway! 

However there is also something disempowering about this. Who is making the decision and how can I tap into the decision making process to create the life I want? For insight into how to do this, revisit part 1 of decision-making. 

In short, the key is to (a) connect to an intuitive decision making process and (b) move towards the emotion that arises around a certain decision. With practice,, you won’t let fear drive your decisions, and the easier it will be for you to make conscious choices to change your life, rather than making decisions based on the past, based on old conditioning that has kept you stuck.  

3 - You can always make another decision to change your destiny 

Whenever you are making big decisions or going after big goals or changes in your life, there is always a part of you that wants to go forward and a part that wants to hold back. 

This is entirely healthy and natural. Our ego’s primary job is to keep us safe. It will try many tactics: confusion, distraction, fear, skepticism, judgment. It can really keep you stuck. Which gets in the way of you living your dreams and purpose.

However, here’s the thing about decisions: you don’t have to worry about making a wrong decision, about it being a complete failure.  

Why? Because if you make the wrong decision you can always make another one. You can always turn around and make another decision inside that, to change your destiny. 

Not only that, I reminded myself that whichever way I choose, whatever action I take, there is always learning and growth available to me. This is a little trick of the mind, a reframing, that is similar to the outer success I talked about here. If you remember that, then there cannot be such a thing as a bad decision. Which in turn enables you to let go of the guilt. There is never any “wrong” going on. 

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I will end this final part on decision making with a quote that relates to choosing, and about the opportunities that arise when you make that commitment: 

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” ~W.H. Murray

Go boldly and with courage dear friends! 

Elle xo