We all present a mask to the world…but it doesn’t have to be this way!

And no, I am not talking about the face masks we have been wearing throughout the pandemic :)

Did you know? 

We all have a persona. The persona is the “mask” that we present to the world. The self that we want others to see and the cultural, moral laws that we adapt to. 

The persona is a social identity that the ego hopes will prevent us from being hurt, rejected, or kicked out of the tribe! We care how we are perceived (and judged) by others and create a persona to manage this. 

This is not a bad thing. Our ego is our sense of “I”. The ego is charged with our survival and does a great job by creating a persona to help us survive in the world by projecting out the best possible self. What kind of persona it creates depends on our early experiences and what we learnt was acceptable and not acceptable to be.  

Some of this is conscious, or at least it seems that way - that we are thinking about how we want to be perceived and make choices to align with that. However a lot happens outside of our awareness - we cannot help but be a certain way because of unconscious “rules” we have created in response to our early life experiences. 

We need to build up the ego and create a persona in the first part of life, to give us a strong sense of self and the ability to succeed in the external world.

However, there comes a point in life when operating on the persona level is not enough. Living this way leads to a disconnect, life being out of alignment and feeling unfulfilling. 

This can show up in many ways, often in the body - anxiety, panic attacks, mild depression, listlessness, hopelessness. 

It also creates external life results that are not what you want e.g you are unable to meet the love of your life; you stay stuck in an unfulfilling career for fear of what might happen if you pursue your passion. The choices you make in life are based on preserving others' perception of you, and are driven out of a fear of something - usually something that would lead you to be rejected by the ‘tribe’. 

Functioning in the world solely from a persona basis is not about being true to yourself. It is not true freedom. It limits your life and what you can create in life.

This is where coaching comes in.

A large part of my work is focused on helping clients to integrate the parts of themselves that have been pushed away into what Jung called ‘the shadow’. It doesn’t mean you start taking on qualities that you perceive as ‘bad’; that would be just another persona. It means you address the fear of being these qualities, for example a fear of being mean or rude, which keeps you in a ‘nice’ persona. 

It is not always easy. Jung says that the contents of the shadow threaten what the individual has created as a persona.  But if you do the work, the end result? 

True freedom.

No longer unconsciously ruled by past conditioning and early life experiences, you are free to choose your life. 

To choose how you show up in the world and what you create. 

To get unstuck and fulfil your potential in all areas of your life.